): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
