i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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