can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
