I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
