Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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