your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
