This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
