dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
