Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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