I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
