i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
