The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
