i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
