By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
