Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
