I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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