yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
