What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
