I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
