Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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