Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
