A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
