My brain says no but my pants say off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
