Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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