and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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