so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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