I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
