How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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