On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
