Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
two words...techno handjob
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
