btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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