Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
