hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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