you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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