after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
