K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
