my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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