i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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