Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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