Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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