i would punch a child for taco bell
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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