There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
