Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
