8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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