Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
