i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watching her eat just hurts me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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