That's intense
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
