im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
