how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
