chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
