before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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