Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
