i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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