Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
