i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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